Thursday, February 18, 2010
everything's cool,calm and quiet
wow. it's been a few days but really there's not much to say. just a few things i'd like to have in the open. a few things that seemed to be too good to not mention.
thanks to the long weekend, i've had the chance to think a lot of things over(reasons why me being alone right now is not such a bad thing), watch nick and nora's infinite playlist (which i'm so in love with until now!) let go of certain things i didn't know i was still holding on to (like stuff that goes 15 years back!), talk to my mom about my fears of perpetual singledom (she dispensed a wonderful a advise!) and get some bangs (i'm utterly convinced that they're cute but a few colleagues beg to differ) :p
i didn't know that it was possible for all the personal drama with Hank to end. but mercifully,it did. he's no longer up here in my head all the time. he's no longer the first thought in the morning nor the last at night. i could care less about him now. all these without the feeling of bitterness. and man, it took me more than two hundred days to get it over with. that's been a lot of time so you can imagine how light it feels to have everything off my chest.
i don't know what i should call this period in my life. it seems like i have hit a lull. everything is just so quiet. nothing's really happening. old problems are still problems. everything's routine. there are some important decisions to make soon but i am yet to feel their gravity.
you'd expect me to feel bored but i'm not. change is more than welcome but i am really in no hurry to shake things up. there's a sense of relief. realization that the worst is over. not only pertaining to Hank but basically my whole life. i don't know how i can say that because i haven't been even halfway through. i think this is one of the things i'll be saying over and over as long as i'm breathing.
perhaps this is a time for growing up. a calm but apparent transition. like leaves turning orange in autumn.