Friday, February 26, 2010

hank is sick

Hank is sick. and boy am i grabbing all opportunities to check him for fever ;)
seriously, that guy is sick a lot. seeing him all teary-eyed with cold and sniffing like that makes me want to take care of him. no matter how much i grew to hate hank, i will always have a soft spot for him.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

fab cupcakes


i love all things pretty and sweet so i cannot not post this.
fab cupcakes by wendy's cake art.
sweet :)

mr. 15th floor

i saw mr.15th-floor today and managed a half smile. i could've done so much better but when you see your occasional crush,it's simply not that easy.
who is mr.15th-floor? i don't know his name. nor his age. i'm guessing he's around 25 though. he works on the 15th floor but also has an office on the 14th (the floor where i work). he likes to look at me when we pass each other, give me an almost-smile-but-not-quite then walk away.he's never asked for my name. and i have no intention(at the moment)to ask his. sometimes, he looks like he wants to say hi. i bet i look like that to him sometimes,too. we've been like this for nearly a year now.
i would say he's nothing special, really. it's just that he manages to make me feel giddy and pretty. and to any girl, that's big deal.
i wonder if we will ever get around to actually saying hi. and what would happen after that.

Monday, February 22, 2010

the world's biggest liar

today, i feel like the world's biggest liar.
i don't think it's over yet.
sometimes i'm afraid that it will never be.
these past few days i've just been stronger.
but still it doesn't change the truth.
what is about you that just draws me near?
just one word...that's all it takes for you to own me again.
you never make me feel like you want me but you always make me feel like i want you.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

everything's cool,calm and quiet

 wow. it's been a few days but really there's not much to say. just a few things i'd like to have in the open. a few things that seemed to be too good to not mention.
thanks to the long weekend, i've had the chance to think a lot of things over(reasons why me being alone right now is not such a bad thing), watch nick and nora's infinite playlist (which i'm so in love with until now!) let go of certain things i didn't know i was still holding on to (like stuff that goes 15 years back!), talk to my mom about my fears of perpetual singledom (she dispensed a wonderful a advise!) and get some bangs (i'm utterly convinced that they're cute but a few colleagues beg to differ) :p

i didn't know that it was possible for all the personal drama with Hank to end. but mercifully,it did. he's no longer up here in my head all the time. he's no longer the first thought in the morning nor the last at night. i could care less about him now. all these without the feeling of bitterness. and man, it took me more than two hundred days to get it over with. that's been a lot of time so you can imagine how light it feels to have everything off my chest.

i don't know what i should call this period in my life. it seems like i have hit a lull. everything is just so quiet. nothing's really happening. old problems are still problems. everything's routine. there are some important decisions to make soon but i am yet to feel their gravity.

you'd expect me to feel bored but i'm not. change is more than welcome but i am really in no hurry to shake things up. there's a sense of relief. realization that the worst is over. not only pertaining to Hank but basically my whole life. i don't know how i can say that because i haven't been even halfway through. i think this is one of the things i'll be saying over and over as long as i'm breathing.

perhaps this is a time for growing up. a calm but apparent transition. like leaves turning orange in autumn.

Friday, February 12, 2010

glaringly single


i am glaringly single. in our team i am known as the single one. the one to be set up with guys. the unattached.
the one who's legal to flirt. oh boy, i love that last one.

i don't want to be all mopey this weekend just because it's v-day.
afterall, it's not really my fault that i'm single. it hardly ever is. single people are single because we either a.) choose to be, b.)haven't found the right one.

i'm happy for all the couples who will be celebrating. you guys are lucky to have found each other :)

honestly, i can't wait to meet the One. however while i am waiting, let me share with you one of the things that i enjoy about my single status:
i don't have to constantly update anyone about what i'm doing nor my whereabouts. there's this sense of freedom that is really quite enjoyable. i don't have to answer to anyone.

feel free to add your own reasons below.
and you can also ask your friends to join in :)



the glowing cheeks, barely there lipstick, beautifully defined eyes, and the sleek bun.
i just can't not post this.
simply stunning.

(via glamour)

just let me stare at you

just let me stare at you.

please don't protest.

that's all i'm gonna ask for today. promise.

Thursday, February 11, 2010



i'm guilty...
of changing.
of being scared.
of not knowing what to do.
of hurting you.
of (possibly) being the worst friend ever.

i'm guilty as hell. Cal's been asking me if anything's wrong. he said i changed. i think i did.
but it's only because i'm freaking out. this is me secretly freaking out. pushing people away. running the opposite direction. classic. it makes me sound like a guy. and i feel terrible about it.

why am i staying away from him? maybe because i feel uncomfortable? maybe because i don't know what to do? actually, i think i need to know what to do because i'm a girl. and girls are just good with dealing with things like this, right? maybe i'm not thinking straight.possibly, i'm also afraid. no, don't get me wrong. i'm not afraid of what i'm feeling because i'm pretty sure i know what i'm feeling. i'm afraid of what he's feeling. i'm afraid of his advances(yes there are still advances from him after this text!). i'm afraid of being this girl who broke his heart. oh God, i know how bad it is to have your heart broken.

what's worse is that i know i'm hurting him right now. but still i can't stand to be there with him.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

dear hank...


i don't miss you as much.
i don't want you as much.

natural lighting


i'm becoming a big fan of rooms with natural lighting.
i don't know much about this room that i came across so if any of you have any info about it then feel free to leave a message below.
i'd love to know whose work it is, where to find it and photo credit :) 

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

mid-month slump


well it's not technically the middle of the month yet but it is almost that time of the month. the dreaded pms. pre and post in my case. i came to calling these days the mid month slump because that's when it used to fall (thanks to an irregular cycle,it's on a different week of every month now).
i feel extra everything. extra hungry, extra sleepy, extra mopey, extra loud, extra jumpy, extra tired, extra irritable and maybe even extra annoying to some people.
it's's insane.
it doesn't help that tomorrow is a wednesday. i have to get up extra early to attend a meeting, work until 11 pm,and pull through one of the busiest of class schedules. it's basically a 15-hour workday! i guess they call it hump-day for a reason.

Friday, February 5, 2010



this room may seem messy at first but the natural lighting gives it an almost magical appeal.
i always wanted  a room full of books  and a place where i can keep a chestful of keepsakes,old love letters,and photographs. this place seems perfect. i can imagine spending hours here going through old stuff and writing.

Oh Cal...


 i have nearly forgotten the gravity of saying and hearing the words, " i love you".
after all , it's almost been three long years since i last said and heard them to and from a non-family member.
in the course of that time,i've thought of actually saying them a couple of times but always didn't because they felt strange on my tongue,like a foreign language. sometimes,i even think i forgot what it really means and what it's like to say them. sad but true.
i've haven't heard them in a long time...
until last night.

Cal,a good friend with the most hilarious sense of humor, texted me those three words last night.
only one thought crossed my mind as i read the message twice. is he serious?
 i'd be lying if i tell you that i had no idea. because i did. there has been a few times when he tried to express them non-verbally. the patience,the late night texts,the jokes...but after my encounter with Hank,i have vowed never to interpret such actions.

the thing is, serious or not, i don't share the same feeling.

Cal is just a friend. he's an amazing friend. he makes me laugh. and he pretends he understands even though i know he doesn't. he does three quarters of his best (i think) to make sure i'm fine. he's a great guy. but i just don't feel that way.

i care for him.but there's zero attraction. damn,i feel sooo bad saying that. i don't wanna hurt his feelings. the best thing i can do is pretend he said nothing. carry on with being friends. i'm doing the right thing,right?

i'm learning so much right now. i can't help but feel that this is Hank and me in reverse. i'm Hank and Cal's me.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

eyemask + dita = supersweet dreams

dita designs sleepmasks for moschino.

she's so gorgeous even with her eyes covered :)

(via sassybella)

dear hank...

dear hank,
i honestly thought i'm done with you.
well actually i am but there will always be something left to say as long as you're around.
well for now here it goes...
you look so good sometimes it pricks. it pricks so bad it renders me breathless.
i wanna roll up those sleeves of yours because i think your shirt will look better on you that way.
you always leave me wondering with the things you say and do.
how you not see me when i walk across the room and how i unexpectedly make you laugh with my most innocent reactions.  
if you'll let me,i'll rip those dark glasses off and show the world that you're really not just the chain smoking , reserved, and always cool dude you seem to be...
but an eight year-old who has an endearing laugh and loves mcdonald's,and looks like a puppy with a cold on bad days.


lolita via weheartit

i know february just started but it's sweltering outside and i can't help but conclude that summer --yes,summer -- is here.time for creative updos,light makeup,summer dresses,wedges,and pretty clips like the ones above!

Monday, February 1, 2010

red lips


i really wish i could pull off red lips. just look at these women.
i can't figure out my perfect shade and sometimes i get too conscious whenever i try on one!
i've tried shades for warm skin tones but i have this idea that shades for cool tones would suit me better.
so if any of you have tips about finding the perfect red lippie,or the right prod.then comment below. 
by the way,i'm asian (who looks more like hispanic),with a green/warm undertone,and plumper lower lips.

pasta,old photos and shaved brows

sunday was wonderful.i made pasta for my sister's birthday party and it was my first time to ever cook anything with parsley(it didn't look as good as the dish in the photo!)! I made ham and mushroom pasta. it turned an awful thousand-island dressing shade (eek!) but according to the guests,it was yummy.i don't think they were just being polite because i thought it was delicious, too.

it was unexpectedly fun to be surrounded by a bunch of young girls under 19(my sister's friends) .we looked at old pictures in ginormous photo albums my mom compiled over the years(they couldn't believe how chubby i used to be!)i wish to write more about the photos but i've got a pretty heavy workload right now so good luck tomorrow.

and also, after a month long retreat from the tweezers, i went to the neighboring salon to have my brows reshaped! my face looks brighter and my eyes had really stood out :)
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