Monday, January 4, 2010
the golden eyed boy,narcisissm,and flicking off that switch
it's beautiful outside.
the soon-to-set sun is casting an almost golden glow on the buildings.
reminds me of someone who's not here anymore.
he's my forever dream.that's all he is.the impossible.the unattainable.the boy with the golden eyes.everyone knows what he is but what he is form me remains the same.it's been more than a year and i still refuse to put him in a box where i put all the other boys in.
i'm almost a hundred percent okay.amazing how some people around me didn't even notice that i went crazy for awhile.
the narcissistic me thought that all eyes were on me.
well.i'm back and that's the most important thing.
i feel fine.sometimes i even feel super.
i'm back to dressing for myself.back to musing about a thousand different ideas.back to laughing as loud as i please.back to immersing myself in heartless paperback mysteries.back to caring less and being me.
there's a funny story i want to share, someone tried to get under my skin today.a
reckless remark to someone that she knew would hurt me. maybe it was intentional.maybe it's not.but you know which is more probable.
newsflash: i didn't feel anything.no stab nor prick.just an uncomfortable glance shared between the other person and i was done with it.i guess i was able to flick off the switch i was fumbling for all these months.